Text to Text

Messages exchanged over several days…

Hey luvR hows it hangin? XXX

Who is this?

Don’t b like that luvR i said i sorry. XXX

Who is this? And where did you get this number?

I really really sorry luvR x didn’t mean any of wht i said x love you XXX

I don’t have a lover. Who are you?

Dont b mean x i know u dont mean it x forgive me? XXX

You have the wrong number. I am not your lover. I have never been your lover. I don’t even know who you are.

Thts harsh luvR x i didn’t mean to eat your choc x ill by you more XXX

I AM NOT YOUR LOVER

I know u told me to get out but im really really sorry x ill get u the giant box of assorted truffles XXX

I am NOT your lover. I don’t even like truffles. Haven’t you heard of punctuation or correct spelling?

Who uses that crap in txt? u don’t like truffles? wht do u like? XXX

I use “that crap” in text messages. So do ALL the people who text me. No I don’t like truffles or chocolate. I prefer healthy food. Please stop sending me messages you mean for someone else.

Oooops! I am sorry that I have been bothering you. I had to get a new phone and I put Ryan’s number in wrong. I switched the 4 and 5 around and got you by accident. I thought you were Ryan and you (he?) were still angry with me. I thought you were deliberately pretending not to know me. I should have realised sooner when you didn’t call me names. I’m sorry to have been so stupid. You sound a lot nicer than Ryan. I just text Ryan and got a load of abuse in reply. Sorry to ever have confused you with that moron. Jase

I am glad it is all sorted out. Thank you for using proper English, I do have trouble interpreting text-speak. Your Ryan does sound like a fool. Did he really throw you out just for eating his chocolate?

Yeah. I think he was just looking for an excuse though. Things hadn’t been good between us for a while. A friend just told me he is hanging around with his ex again and they look pretty friendly. So I think it is me who is the fool not Ryan. Sorry. I don’t know why I am dumping all this on you. You don’t even know me and I think I am sorry about that too. Do you have a name? Or something I could call you? I really should know who I am apologising to so regularly (joke). Jase

You do say sorry a lot. Is everything always your fault (joke)? It sounds like you are well rid of Ryan if he is still hung up on his ex. My name is Samuel but I only answer to Sam.

Hi Sam. Nice to meet you. If you are ever in Cambridge I’ll buy you a coffee. I answer to Jason as well as Jase. You are probably right about Ryan but it will take me a while to get around to thinking about it that way. I thought we were meant for each other and would be together for years or even a lifetime. Seven months is a pretty short life. I thought he loved me too. But they do say that love is blind. Jase

Nice to meet you too, Jase. Even if it isn’t under the best of circumstances. I still think you are better off without Ryan. I get to Cambridge now and again with my work, so make that a fruit juice and I’ll take you up on it. I’ll give you a call next time I’m there. Sam

Ah! The healthy option! Are you a health freak Sam? I’ll have to check you out carefully when we have that juice. Jase

I like to keep in shape and treat my body right. But some of my friends do accuse me of being a health freak. I do know a place to get good, wholesome food in Cambridge. It is where I always go when I am stuck there alone on business trips. Do you work in Cambridge? Or live there? Sam

I’m a post-doctoral student. So both really. I have a room on campus and I help out with the summer schools, so I am always here. What do you do that brings you to Cambridge on business? I think I know where you mean for the wholesome food. Naturally Better right? I worked there for a couple of summers while I was doing my degree. It is a great place and the food is really good. I’m not surprised you like it. Jase

So I should call you Dr. Jase? What field are you in? I do some consulting for a couple of the colleges and some local businesses and I like to see how they are doing from time to time. When did you work at Naturally Better? I’ve been going there for a while. We might have already met after all! Sam

Wouldn’t that be weird! I last worked there summer before last. But I still drop in regularly to eat. I’m in physics and I saw my own personal hero in Naturally Better occasionally. That’s why I wanted the job. Well, that and the free food! Jase

You have your own personal hero, Dr. Jase? Who is that and how do you know he is a hero? J Sam

You sound jealous (joke)! Just Jase will do fine. Dr. Jase is a bit cumbersome unless you enjoy a bit of role play. Ignore that. Sorry I shouldn’t make suggestive remarks. Dr. Carson S. Carter is my personal hero. The guy is a genius. You should see some of the programs he has written to simulate particle physics theories. Beautiful, just awesomely beautiful. And he is muy hot as well. Um. You had figured out I am into men hadn’t you? Jase

Yes I had figured that out. Once I knew your name was Jason and you had a lover called Ryan I was able to add two and two together and get the square root of sixteen. You are apologising again! That wasn’t very suggestive but I don’t mind a bit of role play with the right person. Now if you want a suggestive remark I could ask if you are into men or are you into men who are into you… now I’ll say sorry, that is none of my business. I’ve heard of your Dr. Carter, he has done some good work. Isn’t he supposed to be arrogant and foul tempered though? Sam

Would I be heading in the wrong direction if I am getting that same square root of sixteen idea about you too? And I do prefer a man who is deeply into me! I’m not going to apologise for that one! Dr. Carter isn’t foul tempered. He might be a little bit arrogant but he is entitled to that. The man is a genius after all. He was really nice to me the time I dropped the paella special right into his lap because I was so nervous to actually be serving him. I think he might be a little bit shy underneath it all. And he does have the most incredible blue eyes. Jase

No you wouldn’t be heading in the wrong direction at all. Sounds like you admire your Dr. Carter’s body more than his brain. That wasn’t the paella special with wholegrain rice and organic vegetables was it? That is my favourite dish. I am sure your hero would have preferred to eat it rather than wear it. Sam

It was all I could do not to offer to lick it off grain by grain! lol. But I think that might have got me arrested and certainly have lost me the job. Hmm. Body… Brain… Not sure I can choose between them. It isn’t fair for him to have such a stunningly lickable body and such an awesome brain. Jase

Stunningly lickable??? Sam

That’s the best way I can describe it. Haven’t you got any fantasies about anyone you admire? Jase

Yes, I suppose I do have a few. But none of them featured paella special and licking before… Sam

Lol. Maybe I’ll treat you to the paella as well as the fruit juice. Jase

No licking? L Sam

I’ll reserve judgement on that. I don’t offer to lick just anyone you know! Jase

I should hope not! Indiscriminate licking is very unhealthy! Sam

I have been very discriminate with my licking so far – apart from Ryan who really was a mistake. Jase

Glad to hear it. I am pretty discriminating about who and what I lick too. Sam

Glad about Ryan or the licking? Jase

Both. Sam

I should have known better with Ryan. Anyone who calls you names and puts you down all the time doesn’t really love you. The only good thing about Ryan is that he broke my phone so I had to get a new one. Two good things about Ryan – his phone number is so close to yours. If he wasn’t such a moron I would never have met you. I know we haven’t really met yet but I have enjoyed our chatting over the past few weeks. I’d like to think we could be friends. Jase

Ryan broke your phone? How did he manage that? I’d like to think we are friends too. I have enjoyed chatting to you. I’ve never really chatted by text before but it is fun. Sam

I’m glad we are friends. You’ve never chatted by text before? What about your friends that use proper spelling and punctuation when they text you? Don’t you chat with them too? Ryan threw my old phone at me. I ducked and it hit the wall. I never realised that you could get so many pieces out of one small phone. The sim card got damaged so I couldn’t transfer it to the new phone. Which is a really good thing. I’d never have mis-programmed Ryan’s number otherwise. Jase

Most of the people who send me texts are business acquaintances so no chatting there. My friends occasionally text me demanding that I call them or reply to their emails. I get caught up in my work sometimes and forget to let them know I am still alive. Ryan doesn’t sound very nice at all. Whatever did you see in him? He didn’t hurt you physically did he? Sam

I get caught up in my work too, so I know how that is. You have always replied to me fairly quickly though! Ryan is an arsehole. No doubt about it. He does have a rather spectacular chest. I think I was just in lust with his pecs. He did hit me a couple of times. It makes me feel stupid and feeble to admit that I didn’t hit him back. I should have done. Jase

Not stupid and feeble, just too nice and too forgiving. It isn’t your fault he was an arsehole. You thought you loved him and as you said a long time ago ‘love is blind’. Sam

More like ‘there’s none so blind as those who will not see’ but whichever it is all in the past now. Ryan is history. Why are we still talking about him? Jase

I was just making sure you were over him and checking to see if I needed to have a little chat with him about hurting a friend of mine. Sam

Ooh! That makes me feel all warm and squishy inside. I am a sucker for a protective man! Jase

You suck as well as lick? Damn. Sam

I suck even better than I lick… lol. Jase

Now I feel all warm and squishy. No that doesn’t really describe it. More hot and hard… lol. Sam

You are really going to have to come to Cambridge soon. Or I am going to have to come and meet you. You realise that I don’t even know where you live? That feels very strange. Jase

Don’t freak out on me now! I want to meet you. Just as a friend, no tongues expected. I am not some ancient pervert getting off on flirting with you. Unless you count mid-thirties as ancient… I’ll be in Cambridge in two weeks time. I have booked the bay window table to the right of the door at Naturally Better for 7pm on Friday evening. I’ll be there until about nine, so you can decide for yourself if you want to meet me once you have seen what I look like. I live near Canterbury. Sam

I wasn’t freaking out. Not really. It just suddenly felt a bit odd to keep flirting with someone I have never seen. Is that the window table near the desserts or the coffee? I will be there. You might not like the look of me. But at least we will both know who we are talking too. Mid-thirties isn’t old. Jase

The table near the desserts. I remember that you have a sweet tooth. I am looking forward to meeting you. Am I allowed to call it a date? It will be the closest thing to a date that I have had for years! Sam

I know you said you were discriminating but… why haven’t you had a date for years? Are you in a relationship? Jase

I was for several years. But I got too wrapped up in my work and he left. So I just buried myself in more work and tried to ignore that side of things. I am not doing myself any favours here am I? Sam

It is good to know that you aren’t perfect. You have given time to our friendship. And that is all we can be sure of at the moment. Part of me wants more than that and part of me doesn’t want to risk what we have already. Jase

I am stupidly nervous about meeting you. I hope we can keep our friendship no matter what. But I am worried that meeting will somehow spoil it. I’m not even thinking past that first moment. Sam

I hope we won’t be sitting there trying desperately to think of something to say! I hope you still like me in person. It is like some sort of blind date. Jase

I went on a blind date my last year at school. Remind me to tell you about it on Friday – at least that will give us something to talk about if we are struggling. So we are agreed that this is a date? You never really answered before. Sam

Yes, it is a date. But I don’t expect flowers or anything (joke). Only three more days. The time has gone really quickly. Jase

I’m going to be a gibbering wreck by the time I get there. Whose idea was this anyway? Sam

Your idea! Do you want to meet at 6:30 before going to Naturally Better? Jase

Maybe? Where were you thinking of? Sam

There are benches by the river about 500 yards from Naturally Better. Still public but a bit more private than inside. Jase

Okay. I’ll try and find it. Sam

If you get stuck call me and I’ll talk you in. Jase

Friday 6:20pm

“Jase?”

“Sam? Where are you?”

“I know I’m early but I wanted to be there on time. Only there are rivers in both directions and both of them have benches. Not to mention that it is pouring with rain…”

“I’d noticed the rain. I wanted to be all calm about this but I have been standing here for ten minutes already. You have a really nice voice, we should have spoken before. Where are you now?”

“Nobody has ever said I have a nice voice before. Thank you. I am standing across the road from Naturally Better. Which way do I go?”

“Can you see the big furniture shop?”

“Yes.”

“Walk past that and keep going.”

“Okay. You have a nice voice too. We should have spoken before. I just never thought of it. I am past the shop.”

“Can you see the pub with the green and white awning?”

“Yes.”

“That is right by the bridge. It has tables on the riverside.”

“I thought you said benches not tables?”

“I did. You need to cross the road and turn along the river opposite the pub.”

“How am I going to recognise you?”

“I am the idiot with a phone and a red umbrella.”

“Idiot?”

“I am wet despite the umbrella.”

“Ah. I am nearly there. I am the idiot with a phone and a black umbrella.”

“Why are you an idiot?”

“Because I am wet too and I forgot to put the umbrella up when it started raining.”

“Too busy looking for me?”

“Yes, Jase. But I have found you now.”

“Dr. Carter?”

“Sam to you, Jase. I don’t think you need the phone anymore,” Sam reached out and took the phone from Jase and ended the call before handing it back.

“You knew who I was all the time?” Jase stuttered as he stared at his hero, who just happened to be his friend Sam.

“Not until you told me about the paella,” Sam smiled tentatively, “I could never forget the gorgeous waiter who gave me an erection by dumping my dinner in my lap and apologising so profusely… I was terrified you were going to notice how turned on I was.”

“Why didn’t you tell me?”

“I didn’t want to be your fantasy hero,” Sam shrugged and looked down at his feet, “I wanted you to like the real me. I meant to tell you but I kept putting it off and then…”

“Then?” Jase was still stunned but his brain was beginning to move past the initial impulse to run or throw himself at his hero’s feet and declare his undying love.

“Then I was worried that you would hate me for lying to you and I thought it would be better to wait until we met so I could explain myself,” he grimaced, “But it isn’t working out as well as I’d hoped, it sounds stupid out loud. I brought you a present…”

“You thought a present would make me forget that you have been making a fool out of me for months?” Jase scowled at him.

“I wasn’t making a fool out of you,” Sam protested, “I was just acting like the fool I am. I just have trouble meeting people and I hoped you wouldn’t be too upset… Here, you might as well have this even if I have ruined everything.”

He handed Jase a small box. It must have been beautifully wrapped until the rain made splotches all over the gold paper. The damp corners had worn through in Sam’s coat pocket and there was a fair amount of fluff stuck to the damp wrinkled paper. Jase peeled the disintegrating paper off the box and found a box of expensive looking chocolates.

“Chocolates? That isn’t a very healthy present for you is it?” Jase asked trying to sound annoyed still. Sam was wet and miserable and staring glumly at his shoes. He looked even more edible than the chocolates.

“Organic, hand made chocolates,” Sam muttered, “I wasn’t sure which ones to get but they aren’t all truffles. I’m sorry that I spoiled everything.”

“Hm.” Jase gave in and leaned forward to kiss Sam’s cold wet cheek, breathing in the scent of rain, wet wool, expensive cologne and healthy male. “Thank you for the chocolates. You can buy me dinner and apologise some more. I might forgive you.”

“Promise?” Sam looked up hopefully, brilliant blue eyes capturing Jase’s.

“We’ll see,” Jase sniffed, “Just one thing though. Tongues are not optional, they are mandatory,” he breathed against Sam’s lips. He thought he heard Sam mutter something like ‘hallelieuja’ just before their tongues met and the rain and annoyance faded away.

 

The End

 

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© Copyright Mara Ismine 2008